When you are tackling a big personal growth mission, such as trying to kick an unhelpful habit, or develop a new healthy one, the task ahead of you can seem daunting and terrifying. Forever can seem like a long time, particularly if you are thinking of giving something up, or having to make a commitment to a whole new way of life.
I remember years ago, after having happily gone about a week without smoking, suddenly coming face to face with the idea of never smoking again on National No Smoking Day, going into a full blown panic at the idea and walking to the shop in tears to buy some cigarettes! I was fine until I contemplated a life of never smoking again!
This is why, when I first stopped drinking on 12th October 2014, I didn’t tell myself I was giving up, I didn’t put that pressure on myself. I took my sobriety one day at a time, and didn’t even contemplate the idea of a lifelong commitment to it until I knew it was actually what I preferred.
The Circle of Change
Any big change in life is far more sustainable and likely to succeed if it is taken one small manageable step at a time, implemented with consistency. For example, I love my house to be clean, tidy and well organised, but have trouble implementing a daily housework routine. Therefore, I have big spurts when I clean the whole house and it looks beautiful, but because the small manageable steps aren’t taken, it quickly becomes a mess again. Until I am able to create that simple but effective daily routine, I will always struggle with mess (although I am improving all the time!)
The trouble is that when we decide we are going to make these changes, we often expect to be able to do it right away, and get frustrated and despondent when we can’t. (how many of you have given up on New Years Resolutions by now?) We then give up, and feel even worse about the things we want to change than we did before – the overeater consoles herself with food, the alcoholic drowns her sorrows, and the smoker buys a packet and loathes herself with every drag she takes.
If you are to succeed in achieving your goals, changing those habits and creating the life you were born to live, then you have to take it one step at a time, and move through the change with compassion for yourself, gratitude, support and small steps towards your goal.
The Circle of Change model I devised is a very helpful one to get you to your goal. You can find out more about this model here, or you can download this PDF version of the blog post to read at your own leisure (no optin required – just click the link below to get the PDF)
The Circle of Change webinar
On Sunday 11 February at 7pm GMT I will be guiding you through this model and helping you work out a strategy to create sustainable change in your own life. The webinar will be run very much as a workshop with in call support and guidance to guide you through the changes you want to make in life. A replay will be available, but you will get the best value if you are able to attend live. There is a free gift to all registrants that will come to you in your welcome email, so do look out for that and be sure to bookmark the webinar page!
You can register your place by clicking on the link below