From my early 20’s, I seemed to court drama and disaster in my life. It wasn’t all bad, there were some wonderful moments, but there always seemed to be darkness on the horizon. I drank FAR too much, using alcohol as my hiding place from myself, and, without really acknowledging it, becoming totally addicted to it. I smoked a lot, both legal and illegal substances, despite being asthmatic since childhood. I was reckless in my behaviour, cynical and pessimistic, terrible with money, had disastrous relationships with men, and generally invited trouble into my life at any possible opportunity. I was falling apart for a very long time, but this was so normal to me I barely noticed!
In 2013, after 20 years of chaotic living, I hit a wall. A series of difficulties led to a breakdown. I quit full time work, and got on with the business of falling apart.
Through that falling apart, I made one very powerful decision that started a chain of events that led to healing. I enrolled on a Yoga teacher training course.
Through this course, I was able to begin to heal my life. I stopped drinking. I stopped smoking. I became single and spent time getting to know and respect myself. I learned to breathe well, to relax, to see the positives in life, to feel happy. Not all the time, but I also learned to be ok with not feeling happy, to experience the emotions I felt instead of numbing them.
I have learned much along this journey, and am still learning all the time. I am far from ‘fixed’, but was I ever really broken to begin with! I was just working through some lessons I needed to learn!
Every day is a school day!
Thankfully, school days are long behind me, but lessons certainly have been learned, and are still being learned every day. We never stop learning, we can always grow and expand in life. I would like to share with you some of the lessons I have learned in my journey.
- Breakdowns can lead to breakthroughs
- Fear is just a thought, you can choose to listen to it or to push past it
- It will hurt, and you will fight it, but the growth you get it totally worth it.
- We can all benefit from breathing better
- Yoga is so much more than exercise
- We are always stronger than we think we are, and capable of more than we give ourselves credit for
- Vulnerability is a powerful healing tool when used properly
- when we share our problems, we defeat the shame that cripples efforts to solve the problems
- You can always change, no matter how old or stuck in your ways you think you are
- We are all connected to one another, and to the planet
- There is a big difference between good and bad stress
- We achieve far more when we are relaxed than when we are stressed out
- There is always more to learn about yourself and life, we never know everything we need to know
I am going to expand on each of these lessons I have learned in a series of blog posts that will follow from this, starting tomorrow. As I publish the posts, I will add the links to them so that they will eventually all be on this page.
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